Asked by Anonymous
Oh anon, you’ve found me out! I thought I had been so careful, but your brilliant “he talks to her therefore he loves her” detective strategy has forced my hand! Her Canadian wiles have truly made me weak at the knees! When I see “maytheodds” appear on my dash, it’s like my stomach has suddenly filled with butterflies and rainbows! I burn, I pine, I perish!
But seriously: Broegan, are you seeing this?
Broegan’s pretty cool and all, but
Seriously, you know why I mention Broegan a lot? Because I talk to Broegan a lot, and because “Broegan” is a cool name and you don’t get many opportunities to use it.
Now, it’s not ridiculous to think I might have a crush on Broegan. After all, she’s smart, pretty, and funny. However, I don’t have a crush on Broegan. Nothing against her, of course, I just generally don’t develop crushes on people who live hundreds of miles away whose last names I don’t know.
I also looked back at my posts in response to this. Most of the times I’ve mentioned Broegan are parts of direct interactions with her. So basically, by sending this message, you have implied that a man can’t have a female friend without harboring secret romantic feelings for her.
Believe me, if I had a crush on Broegan, no one would ever know about it. Just like my crush on Joan.