Doctor Who: Fictitious Episodes
Season N, Episode 1: “In God We Trust”
They’re maniacally nationalistic and xenophobic. They either enslave or exterminate anyone they deem inferior, which is anyone who isn’t one of them. They hear everything you say and see everything you do, and they’ll kill you in the streets without hesitation or apology if they perceive even the slightest threat. They have no empathy or compassion. They can’t be reasoned with or trusted. They only care about their own supremacy and they’ll do anything to preserve it. To top it all off, they’ve struck an alliance with the Daleks.
Welcome to the United States Government.
Martha Jones literally stared down the most brutal mass murderer and dictator in human history and he blinked. She hijacked his psychic weapon and used it to save her friend’s life. She tricked him into bringing her into his inner sanctum, then took control of his lieutenants, deposed him, and sent his own men to destroy his doomsday device. Then, to top it all off, she not only saved the remainder of life on earth, but she un-killed all of his victims and wiped his entire reign of terror and almost all ill-effects from history. Then, she gave up a life of adventure and limitless possibility to help the few remaining people who still remembered the trauma they’d endured, her family.
I’m not exactly sure why so many people hate her.
Also are we going to talk about the fact that Mickey was framed for murdering Rose Tyler when she disappeared with the Doctor for a year?
I get the idea that when a 17 year old girl goes missing (Rose went missing just before her 18th birthday and returned just over a year later), it’s natural to suspect her boyfriend, but given that there was literally no evidence against him whatsoever, it’s kind of fucked up that Jackie kept telling everyone that he was a murderer and leaving harassing messages in his letterbox
Especially considering the fact that Jackie’s last conversation with Rose before her disappearance was, as far as Jackie knew, during an invasion of homicidal mannequins that had come to life. That phone call went like this:
JACKIE: Rose! Rose! Don’t go out of the house, it’s not safe!
ROSE: [laughs, says nothing]
JACKIE: There were all of these things! And they were shooting! And they—
ROSE: [hangs up on her]
JACKIE: Hello? Hello?
But even though Rose disappeared after that cryptic-ass phone call, in the middle of London being attacked by murderous shop mannequins, Jackie still insists that Mickey must have murdered her.
And what’s even worse is that Jackie has known Mickey his whole life and still thinks he’s more likely to have murdered her daughter than the plastic killbots who happened to be rampaging through the last place Rose was seen on the night she disappeared
I’ve got a Doctor Who headcanon that, because time travel and longevity makes the concept of birthdays tricky, regenerations are celebrated like birthdays on Gallifrey.
Except instead of cake, your friends and family all bring you a wide variety of food and drink to sample, so you know what your new favorite flavors are, and instead of regular gifts, they offer up all their old clothes so they can try to find clothing that fits and looks good on their new body.
And because time travel is fairly commonplace on Gallifrey, you never have to worry about missing a friend or loved one’s regeneration festivities you just put together your sampler, grab your wardrobe (fits in a bigger-on-the-inside suitcase) and head over to the day they regenerated.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved how they tackled the regeneration limit problem in Time of the Doctor, but there’s one thing I’d have done differently:
I’d have had the weeping angel break Clara’s ankle when it grabbed her, and the Doctor would have healed it the way he did with River’s wrist in a similar situation. Clara would walk on it, and complain that it was much better, but still felt a little bruised. The Doctor would have a look of concern flash across his face, and then he’d comment something like “what do you expect, you mend a broken bone in seconds, it’s bound to be a bit sore.”
Then later, when he’s explaining that he can no longer regenerate, he would say that he thought he still had one more in him, but that he’d been reckless with his regeneration energy (and it would show a quick montage of the Tenth Doctor healing his hand in “The Christmas Invasion,” starting to regenerate in “The Stolen Earth,” and Eleven healing River’s wrist in “The Angels Take Manhattan”), and he would comment that he could feel himself scraping the bottom of the barrel when he healed Clara’s ankle.
Which would explain why he had regeneration energy to use at all in “The Angels Take Manhattan,” why he had the teselecta fake the regeneration effect, and why he never commented that he was on his last body when, for example, River disabled his ability to regenerate in “Let’s Kill Hitler,” or in any other instance.
I have nothing against a ret-con, believe me, I loved what they did in Day of the Doctor, but it was mostly because they answered questions like “why did the Doctor act like he still destroyed Gallifrey?” and “Why didn’t the Tenth Doctor remember meeting the Eleventh?”
That’s the whole thing: If I was doing Time of the Doctor, I would have written myself around the continuity obstacles rather than simply ignoring them.
I remember reading GallifreyBase back in 2008 and half the posts were some variation of “did Ten’s fake-out regeneration in The Stolen Earth count towards the limit?” and “I bet Paul McGann shows up next season”
and the other half were “if light shoots out the doctor’s sleeves and collar when he regenerates, if he regenerates with his fly open does a beam of light shoot out” and “what happens if the doctor is naked when he regenerates where does the light go”
Watching the Doctor spend seven seasons regretting the destruction of Gallifrey and his people, lamenting that there wasn’t another way, talking about how he sacrificed his family and many other innocents to end the war, and explicitly stating that if he could go back and save them he would
then having him presented an opportunity to go back and save his family and all those innocents, as well as another way out of the war that protects the universe from Rassilon and averts the slaughter of innocent billions, and seeing him take that opportunity and do exactly what he’s saying he wishes he could do for seven seasons
somehow that doesn’t feel like nullifying or negating the Time War arc that began in 2005
somehow that feels like completing it.