Assuming the universe began in a “big bang,” or the explosion of a singularity containing all matter and energy that makes up the universe today, and all that matter is still moving outwards from the epicenter of the explosion, what happens when the dust settles? Does all matter fall back to the center of the universe and converge back to a single point? Does that point explode again, creating a new universe and starting the process over again? How many times will this cycle repeat? Perhaps more importantly, how many times did this happen before the current universe came to be? Is it possible that the universe is a never-ending cycle of expansions and contractions with no beginning and no end?

“You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!”
“What’s your name?”
“Gladys.”
“Ahh, last person I knew with that name tried to poison me and set me on fire.”
“Oh my god! Do you still—”
“No, we worked it out. I mean, as much as possible with her. She used to want me dead, but now she only wants me gone.”
Two Spider-men:

I don’t know where or when this came from:

What appears to be a breakdown of the lobby to the Comcast Center:

This:

and this:

Two men I have never met looking upset at a computer:

A firefly/Portal crossover:

America Man at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear:

And something I cannot quite explain:

I mention this because every now and then, when I’m least expecting it, I will feel every direction of my movement through space and get completely knocked off balance. It’s like that feeling you get when you look up at the night sky and all of a sudden you notice the movement of the stars, then suddenly the relative movement switches and the stars are perfectly still but you can feel the earth moving under them. This seems to happen to everyone, but they don’t notice it until the phenomenon is pointed out to them. Space is scary, yet some people are excited about it:

So congratulations on the random feeling of disorientation that will follow you for the rest of your life!
A rare moment of clarity on facebook.
I tried to make good friends with Chell
But she bossed me around
So I took over aperture
And dropped her through the ground.
I’m not a moron but I think
That GLaDOS thinks I am,
I put her in a potato
Just to show her that I can.
When they came back I tried to test
But it just made me sad
But I kept trying even though
My tests were really bad.
They beat my tests in seconds flat
Threw turrets at the screen
But I could not dissuade her
Not when GLaDOS is so mean
So I just tried to kill them
Once I found new robot friends
But they were much too smart for me
When it came down to the end.
The final confrontation
Saw me flying from the moon,
I never saw it coming
Guess I’m really a buffoon.
Protip: This is written to sync up with either “House of the Rising Sun” and “Gilligan’s Island.” Now that you know that, try to read it again without putting them to one of those tunes.
This is a sample from my new side-blog, “Poetry Sphere.” It features poems written about the Portal game series by Valve. Feel free to contribute!
So I’ve been thinking of starting a side blog as the “Poetry Sphere,” which would consist of small poems written about Portal. This idea came to me as I wrote this:
He’s really sorry
For what he’s done,
Although they really
Had some fun.
He wants to say it
To her face,
But Wheatley lives
In outer space.
Burma-shave.
Opinions?