Raptorific
I go to Temple and enjoy soda. I also like dinosaurs and Batman. I promise, I am not a child.
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- People who talk about Ernest Hemingway in the same tone of voice as a six-year-old who wants to marry a celebrity
- People who button the bottom button on a long pea coat
- People who, in the same conversation, criticize someone for liking a cover of a song (because the “original is always better”) and mention their love for Bob Dylan (who has stated that Jimi Hendrix’s cover of “All Along the Watchtower” was better than his original)
- People who feel the need to explain to me why Bret Easton Ellis is such a brilliant writer
- People who think “not giving a shit” about what you write and including chapters that are completely unrelated to the rest of the book make someone a brilliant writer
- People who call the Tech Center “club tech” as if it’s an inside joke exclusive to their group of friends
- People who tell you Fight Club is their favorite movie and then, when you roll your eyes at their lack of originality, try to explain why I’m wrong to be sick of hearing about it (using the word “consumerism” no less than six times)
- People who mash up Showtime’s “Dexter” and “Dexter’s Lab” as if they are the first person to arrive at that conclusion. Bonus point if they actually say something like “I can’t believe no one did this yet!” or “I thought it was about time someone put these two things together!”
- People who have strong opinions, positive or negative, about Coldplay
- People who insist that I will love “The Big Bang Theory”
- People who sing Rush’s “Tom Sawyer” in public places
- People who make references to the Rocky Horror Picture Show and then look at me expectantly until I get it (which I do not, because I don’t really care about Rocky Horror)
- People who hate “Glee” but inexplicably still watch it
- People who force you to talk them through your jokes even though they were the only person who didn’t get it
- People who, in any discussion about movies, feel the need to publicly declare how much they hated “Avatar” and then explain why as if no one else in the discussion could have possibly arrived at the same conclusions
- People who insist I should have a smartphone even though I don’t want one, explaining that “it really doesn’t cost that much”
- People who are still quoting “The Hangover” on a regular basis
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- Game of Thrones- I watched a few episodes and it just didn’t click with me. People tell me that I have to watch the whole season, or at least the majority of it, before I really get into it, but if I wasn’t hooked in the first four episodes and don’t care very much whether or not I get hooked, there isn’t much incentive for me to keep watching. It’s a well-made show, just not my thing.
- Megan Fox- I’m sure she’s a lovely woman, but I just feel no attraction to her whatsoever, and seeing the way she’s portrayed in movies doesn’t really help my feelings about her. Also, when discussing who should play an iconic female character, (actual examples of the following include Catwoman, Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Katniss Everdeen, and Talia al Ghul) I never want to hear the sentence “Of course it should be Megan Fox” (as if it would be ridiculous for anyone but her to play the role) again.
- The Rocky Horror Picture Show- I’ve seen it twice, and both times I found it mildly entertaining, but I’m not part of its cult following. The music was good and I always love Tim Curry, but people are always trying to make references to it around me, and then they look at me expectantly, waiting for me to get it. After a few seconds, I’ll concede that “I don’t get the reference,” and invariably get the same reply: “Come on! Rocky Horror?” It’s cool that y’all like it, but I don’t really have much of an opinion on it either way.
- 3D Movies- I know it’s really popular to hate 3D movies, but I don’t really hate them, I’m just not enthused by them. If I’m not excited for a movie, I’m not going to see it just because it’s 3D, and if I am excited for it, I’m going to see it either way. Some movies work awesomely in 3D and some don’t, but that factor has no sway over whether or not I see a movie.
- How drunk/high/laid you got that one time- If you have a good story that happened because you were intoxicated or attempting to have sex, I’m more than willing to hear it. However, “I got drunk,” “I smoked pot,” and “I had sex” are not good stories by themselves. I have no problem with any of those actions, but unless there’s a better story associated with those things, you might as well tell me “Aw man, I had the best bag of cheetos the other day.”
- How pissed you’ll be if your sports team doesn’t win- Or rather, if you’re pissed, please do not direct that at me for not caring as much as you do. I respect your right to be pissed about whatever you want as long as you respect MY right to NOT be pissed.
- “The Room”- Saw part of it, didn’t really get the appeal. Everyone tells me it’s “so bad it’s good,” but things that are “so bad they’re good” are only really fun for me if I can later describe them to someone else, and everyone’s either seen “The Room” or heard all the jokes about it already, so there’s really no appeal for me.
- The Jersey Shore- Again, this is a popular one to hate, but again, these aren’t by any means things that I hate, just things that I don’t really have much of an opinion on either way. I’ve never really liked the beach, I’m not much of a partier, and I generally prefer scripted shows to reality TV. I neither like nor dislike Jersey Shore, it’s just not aimed towards me.
- Planking, Parkour, and other internet phenomena- If you feel that lying down like a board in weird places or running up a wall is a productive use of your time, it’s really no business of mine whether or not you’re allowed to do it as long as you’re not posing a danger to me or the people I like.
- A Very Potter Musical- I’m sure it’s very entertaining. I have no interest.
I would like to, once again, remind you that if you have strong feelings about any of these things, I am not attacking your opinions, merely stating that I do not have many opinions on them. You can continue to talk positively or negatively about them, and it won’t bother me either way. If you were to talk to me about them, I might try to change the subject, but only because I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. I neither like nor dislike any of these things, and I reserve the right to change my mind about that.
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